I would like to share my story with you of how I discovered Jesus as my healer. What He has done for me, He can and will do for you (Acts 10:34; Hebrews 13:8; Revelation 19:10b). From a young child I had known that Jesus heals. My parents were believers in Christ and the church that I grew up in believed in healing. When my older sister was a preteen, she developed Mononucleosis. I will never forget the day when the pastor and elders came to our house, anointed her with oil and prayed that she would be healed according to James5:14, 15. She had been ill for 6 weeks and all she had the strength to do was to lie around in bed or on the living room couch. She had to have her homework brought home to her to try and keep up with school. After she was prayed for, she immediately got up and went outside and rode her bicycle up and down the street many times. It was a miracle! She returned to school and her usual activities immediately.
When I was a sophomore in high school, my dad was in a very bad car accident. He was coming home from a business trip and his car was hit head-on by a drunk driver. He was reported to be in critical condition and wasn’t expected to live and if he did live, they expected him to have brain damage. He had to be pried out of the car with what today would be called the “jaws of life.” My mom called the church and asked the members to pray for my dad’s condition and his life. Well, he didn’t have any brain damage and he was his usual self. They also had said that he would need plastic surgery on his forehead laceration and that he wouldn’t be able to walk again. But he didn’t need any surgery and he was able to walk after leaving the hospital without any difficulty. Another miracle! My mom believed and stood on the Word of God which says that by Jesus’ stripes we are healed (Isaiah 53:5) and that no weapon that forms against you shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17).
In 1990, I was attending an evening service at my church. The pastor asked those who needed healing to come forward for prayer. I felt prompted to go forward for prayer for my right little toe. When I lived in Hawaii, I used to dislocate this baby toe frequently as I walked barefoot about the house and from then on it would bother me with aching pain particularly when it was going to rain! As I was walking up to the platform to be prayed for by the pastor I had a thought that I could be healed as I was walking up there; why wait until then? I now realize this was the Holy Spirit speaking to me. My toe was healed and I have never had any further aches or pains in it! Now I know it seems like a small thing, but Jesus took all of oursickness and diseases on Himself on the cross so that we don’t have to carry them.
In 1991, I went through the pain and loss of a child with a miscarriage. I felt confused, saddened and even blamed myself that somehow I had caused this loss because I didn’t know that I was pregnant when I went on a thrilling ride at Great America Theme Park. I was 37 years old and had never been pregnant before. I had always wanted children but I made decisions to get my bachelor’s degree and work in my career first. Then because of relationship issues, I was single for a long time before getting remarried in 1990.
I had been hemorrhaging for about a week and my clinic doctor kept telling me that it could still be normal and I could have a viable pregnancy. But as I got weaker and weaker from loss of blood and had excruciating pain in my right lower abdomen, I had my husband take me to the emergency room. They decided I needed to go into surgery immediately because they thought the pain and bleeding was caused from an ectopic pregnancy (where the egg fertilizes in the fallopian tube outside of the uterus) which can be a life-threatening emergency when the tube bursts from the growth of the embryo.
I had asked them to perform an ultrasound to confirm their diagnosis since I did not feel it was correct as I had previously had some right lower quadrant pain on a monthly basis. However they felt it wasn’t necessary and I went into surgery. I did not have an ectopic pregnancy but I did have a miscarriage. The blessing was they also discovered I had endometriosis which they took care of so that I never had right lower quadrant pain again! In spite of the trauma of losing a child at 9 weeks, God did work things out for my good (Romans 8:28) through allowing me to have the procedure and thereby taking care of another painful issue in my body.
I grieved the loss of this child deeply. All I had ever wanted to be was a wife and a mother. People thought they were trying to be helpful by saying things like “maybe it’s God’s will,” or “you will have another one.” I found it very grieving and offensive. My husband and I tried to get pregnant without success. I started to have medical tests done to determine any infertility issues which were expensive and painful and since we didn’t have $10,000 for infertility treatments at that time I didn’t continue with them. I also was not aware of the BLESSING (Genesis 1:28) and God’s promise of fruitfulness found in His Word (Exodus 23:26; Psalm 127:3-5; 128:3-4) nor did I have faith to believe it! So I ended up resigning myself to the fact that I would never have children and would have to be satisfied with having grandchildren from my husband’s children from his previous marriage.
I deceived myself into believing the lies of the enemy and told myself that it was better that I didn’t have children because of issues I was having in my marriage and that God knew this was best for me. I couldn’t handle both! Looking at the dysfunction I saw in my marriage, my family and of others I knew, I couldn’t see how children would be a blessing through carrying on that dysfunction. Later on, I realized that these lies go against the Word of God and I needed to repent and renounce them and allow the healing and deliverance of the Lord into my life.
I have forgiven myself and others for their words and actions and the Lord has brought me emotional healing. Even though we grieve, it is not in the same way as those who have no hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13). I can rejoice that I will see my child again in heaven because Jesus is the resurrection and the life (John 11:25). I am living without regrets, bitterness or unforgiveness and my life is full today as I walk with the Lord while enjoying the physical and spiritual families He has given to me (Proverbs 17:6; Psalm 113:9). My story would have had a different ending if I knew then what I know now. It is the devil who comes to steal, kill and destroy but Jesus brings abundant life!
In 2002, I developed food sensitivities that affected my bowels. I thought it was a short term problem related to the stress I was handling because of my job, purchasing a new home and some marriage issues. But even as things improved in my life I was diagnosed with Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Overactive Bladder which was very burdensome. I had to plan what and when I was going to eat and drink to make sure I could get to a bathroom in time.
In 2014, I resigned from my job because of ill health and decided to retire and take my pension which was 18 months earlier than planned. During my 38 years as a Registered Nurse, I had suffered multiple neck and back injuries while providing patient care; as well as developing shoulder impingement and tendinitis from computer work. Over the last few years I also suffered from migraines which not only caused headaches, but kept me from thinking clearly, comprehend conversations, reading even simple topics, and the ability to make rational decisions.
They seemed to be related to pressure changes in the atmosphere at first and I only noticed them when it rained which was mostly in the winter or early spring seasons. But as they increased I had them in the summer months too related to the marine layer that would come in at night and then break up later the next day as well as certain food and odors would trigger them. I also had headaches that were related to allergies to grasses in the environment. I couldn’t go to a park or be around cut grass or it would trigger a headache.
I had been doing everything possible I could just to go to work but I realized I had only been able to work half of the previous year! When I didn’t feel good and called in sick; I spent those days watching TV just to pass the time and numb myself from thinking about how bad I felt. When I had a day off, I was not able to perform my household duties because I physically could not do them. I became depressed and stopped taking care of myself. There were many days that I didn’t shower, wash my face or brush my teeth.
Needless to say, my physical condition put a strain on my marriage, family and work relationships. It caused me to miss a lot of work as well as family gatherings and I felt like I wasn’t able to be a good wife. I couldn’t be depended on either at work or at home.
I wasn’t spending much time reading the Bible, worshiping God or praying and on most Sundays, I was not able to drive myself to church. One day as I was praying to Jesus, He reminded me that He had come to bring abundant life (John 10:10) and I realized I wasn’t living it. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired!
I realized I had let Satan, God’s enemy and therefore my enemy, keep me from living the abundant life Jesus had provided for me. I had forgotten who I was in Christ and what He died to give me! I realized I was not putting Christ first in my life and I was trying to meet my needs by my own self-effort. 1 Peter 5:8 tells us to be watchful because the devil is on the prowl like a roaring lion, looking for those he can devour. I had gotten complacent and wasn’t watchful, nor did I continue to follow those disciplines of the Christian walk that would keep me close to the Lord.
Over the next few months I started looking at Jesus in the Bible and studying about who He is. I got a fresh revelation of Jesus Christ, His grace and His finished work on the cross at Calvary. Not only did He die to pay the penalty for my sins, but He gave me right standing with God by giving me His righteousness. He also bore all of my sicknesses and diseases on His body (Isaiah 53:4, 5).
I am so thankful for God’s grace. He says that when you seek Him, you will find Him (Matthew 7:7, 8; Jeremiah 29:13). I knew I needed to get back on track with Him. As I started to read and study the Bible and listen to teachers of the Word (i.e. Joseph Prince, Joyce Meyer, Kenneth Copeland, etc.), I had a fresh revelation of God’s Grace (His unmerited favor – what we don’t deserve and His blessings) through the person of Jesus Christ and His finished work on the cross. Praise God that the gospel of grace through Jesus Christ is supply! He gives to us freely what we need that we couldn’t do by ourselves. He lives for us as our Savior, Healer, Deliverer, Provider and High Priest (Hebrews 4:14-16).
When I started applying the Word of God to my life with this fresh revelation of His grace, righteousness and healing, I started to see a change in me. I got healthier and could do more physically then I’d been able to do for years and my depression lifted! Then I started seeing a fresh revelation of God the Father because Jesus came to show us the Father. Whenever you want to see what God is like, look to Jesus for in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily (Colossians 2:9). Jesus doesn’t speak or do anything on His own authority but only what the Father speaks and does. He is in the Father and the Father is in Him. He does nothing of Himself (John14:9-11; 5:19).
Then I got a fresh revelation of the Holy Spirit and His work in my life transforming me from the inside out (2 Corinthians 3:18)! In John chapter 16, Jesus tells us about the Holy Spirit. In John 16:7, He calls the Holy Spirit the Helper because Jesus is going away to the Father therefore, He will send Him to be with us and help us. Jesus declared that as the GoodShepherd His sheep hear His voice and follow Him (John 10:27). Well, that meant me! As a believer, I am His sheep. I started listening and following Him.
I asked the Holy Spirit what I needed to do since my condition was only getting worse i.e. increased episodes of debilitating migraines, benign tremors in my hands that interfered with fine motor activities, ill side effects of taking medications for migraines, allergies, IBS, overactive bladder, etc. The Holy Spirit told me to start meditating and declaring the Word concerning healing and to align my words with what God says about me. I didn’t deny the facts but I didn’t speak about how I was feeling or my condition but just declared the Word over myself (Romans 4:17; 1 Peter 2:24; Psalm 107:20, etc.).
He instructed me to go off all medications for 2 weeks and said He would tell me which ones to go back on until my faith increased enough to discontinue them. He also instructed me to change my diet to allow my bowels to heal and stay away from known migraine food triggers i.e. processed foods because they have preservatives in them; glutamates, MSG, nitrates/nitrites, etc. and to start walking. I had hardly been able to walk at that time because of a debilitating back injury I had in 2012.
I took this step of faith and followed His instructions; even those which didn’t seem wise in man’s eyes (to go off all medications at once) and those that were practical (change my diet and start walking). Within a couple of days, I noticed that I no longer had the tremors in my hands. Any inability to think clearly from brain fog had disappeared and I was able to find my words when I spoke in conversation with people. I started walking for 30 minutes on a daily basis and over the next few weeks my back pain decreased.
One day as I was walking I heard the Holy Spirit speak to me through the inward witness and tell me to jog. I had a conversation with Him (this is all going on internally in my mind) telling Him that I hadn’t jogged in years and that I could hardly step off the curb without jarring my back and causing my back to “go out.” I thought this was an outrageous request! However He repeated the instruction and since I was believing my back was healed, I wanted to obey but I told Him I was very deconditioned because I hadn’t been able to exercise for a number of years. He told me to look ahead to the stop sign and jog only that far. I said okay and did it slowly and carefully with huffing and puffing. Then I said “now what?” He said to walk for a while which I did. Then I heard Him say to jog again up until a speedbump that I could see ahead. So I did. I knew in my spirit at the moment that I did that my back was healed. I have been able to resume my normal activities without pain while increasing strength in my body through exercise.
About a year later, as I was getting out of the shower and wiping my legs, my back went out on me and I fell to the ground unable to walk in excruciating pain. I was getting ready to go to my women’s Bible study and fellowship. I recognized this as an attack of the enemy trying to bring back lying symptoms on me to try to get me to believe that I was not truly healed. I came against that attack in Jesus name and declared I am healed and that healed people go about doing their usual activities. I asked the Lord to help me do what I could do and I went to the meeting. I’m so glad I went to that meeting because I received a Word of prophecy that spoke to my destiny and future! The pain did not go away immediately but as I kept standing and confessing the Word, it disappeared after three days and has not been back since.
The Lord has healed me from migraines, environmental allergies so now I can go to parks and walk in grass without headaches; He has healed my back, neck and shoulder tendonitis and continues to bring healing to me as I put into practice what I have shared with you in previous blogs on how to receive and steward your healing. I have many more stories I could tell you about how Jesus has provided for my healing and wholeness but I will leave you with the Words that Apostle John wrote:
And truly Jesus did many other signs in the presence of His disciples, which are not written in this book; but these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in His Name. John 20:30, 31 (NKJV)